After revolutionising TV viewership in the country by allowing viewers to choose their own channels for a la carte for viewing, the Telecom Regulatory Authority of India (TRAI) has confirmed that it will soon be applying the ruling to television debates of Republic TV too.

“With Arnab packing as many as 20 panelists in a single debate, it becomes impossible to view all of them in a single frame. We've been receiving feedback from viewers who have complained that often, they aren’t able to get a glimpse of their favourite panelists or spokespersons in the everyday melee. So, we've decided to apply our TV channel rule to Republic TV debates too — viewers will now be able to pick and choose only those panelists whom they want to watch, instead of having to bear the sight of dozens of panelists battling it out,” confirmed TRAI chief Ram Sewak Sharma. 

Sources at TRAI suggested that the organisation mulled screening of Republic TV debates at IMAX screens, but couldn’t do so, as shows of the Avengers Endgame would still likely continue running house full for a few more months.

According to sources, the Republic TV management..err..Arnab Goswami has welcomed the move whole-heartedly.

“With time, we're only likely to increase the number of panelists and one day, we'll soon need a Parliament of our own. But for now, we've already begun working on panelist packs — the #MegaBJPSuperPack will have TV debate stalwarts like Sambit Patra, Nalin Kohli, GVL Narasimha Rao and so on, while the #SuperCongressMegaPack will have the likes of Sumanth Raman, Americai Narayanan, Saba Naqvi and others, who still want to continue to get bashed by me, God alone knows why.

If you opt for our #PakiRascalsPack, you can see folks like Zafar Hilaly, Pirzada and so on. And not all our panelists are politicians, so we have some other exciting packs too. There's the #MysorePack featuring Anand Ranganathan, Abhijit Iyer Mitra and other gastronomic superstars. Last, but not the least, we will also have the #ExtremeComedy pack, featuring legends like the one and only Ashutosh,” the Republic TV founder exclaimed.

“Of course, every panelist pack will have me in it. THE NATION CANNOT DODGE ME!” thundered the channel's editor-in-chief. Some viewers, on the other hand, have slammed the move, calling it unnecessary. “In any case, we can't hear anyone other than Arnab himself. So, we might as well opt to avoid including any panelist and see only Arnab alone, in all his glory. It won't make any difference," said one such viewer.

Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire.